He is leading me .....

week Feb 6 - this wk pondered over the job situation and what e Lord is leading me as regards to the staff reduction plans due on 12/Feb. I was reading bk on Prayer by Philip Yancey and somehow the thot was thrown into my mind - " Do you love me more than these? Clearly God was asking if my job & its trappings was more than my love for Him...I sensed e Lord asking me if my job meant more than Him??? sometimes we do not realized Idols in our life?? Do u love me more than these was like Jesus asking me same qn as He asked Peter??? God was preparing my heart.....

(I was then doing 12 hrs workday and losing sleep, weight & appetite hence it is taking its toil & strain on me. )

Feb 11 - sunday sermon by Ps Alvin on Mt6 - not to worry was another indication from e lord to trust Him to provide for my needs cause He loves and cares for me...where is that childlike faith? Has it watered thru' the years of life journey that it is now harder to trust him for the basic needs ..... By sunday evening, God had prepared my heart to put my name on the Plan. Reason for doing so 1) it was against my spiritual principles or values to put my staff at risks while saving my "skin" 2) I was not prepared to cough out e >12 hrs workday which will mean no life at all.

Feb 12 - day that i have to submit my staffing plans. as i agonized over to do or not to do...i was reminded that to stay would ensure security/$ but will have to give up life as I will be expected to cough up >12 hrs workday. hence what do i choose life or security/$.... at about 3pm HuiTze sent SMS sharing on lessons she learnt that spiritual growth comes from childlike dependence on God. I sms Sylvia to check if she had informed HT on our urgent need of that day and her reply was negative. This was clearly God's personal message to me thru' HT's SMS assuring me to embrace that childlike faith on Him. That SMS unknowing to HT sealed my decision and then I went to mgt informing them of my plan. God was indeed good that despite us sometimes wavering in our trusts He send his servants to affirm His purposes/plans for us. This was one incident.
I decided to choose Life and trust GOD for His provisions...Faith in Him than what is visible.

I reject worry instead embark on faith journey.

The nxt day 2/13 I shared this decision w/family and they were v supportive ... the two older ones were positive of the Lord's provision for us and this was v encouraging to see their own faith in God instead of a borrowed one. Cleo indicated in his naive reply that we may have to eat less now.....
What started out as a personal step of faith has now become a family journey. I also sms the few CG members asking for continued prayer support as we journey.

Feb 19 CNY Sunday Service and Ps William preached on success and reminded that at some pt in life we nd to choose btwn success & signifiance and i thot that was God assuring me of our decisions.

Feb 19 CNY week - pondered and prayed after the decision and felt e need to anchor on His promises less I waver when circumstances does not seem positive. On 2/24 sat am when I got up from bed, I remembered vividly that He gave me a verse in my sleep/dream : Phil 4:6,7- Have no anxiety abt anything but in everthing by prayer & supplication w/thanksgiving let yr requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep yr hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Again I am thankful of e Lord speaking to me v specifically and assuring me thru' His words.

Indeed God is Good!!!!

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|7:41 AM|
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